Kaye Sullivan

My Dad came from a family with a strong Catholic background and my Mom was very involved in the Church of England when she was young.  Yet, both had been "burnt" by bad experiences in their churches and so did not seek to raise my brother and I with any firm religious belief. 

Though I was not encouraged to actively believe in God, as I grew I became aware of an inner desire to go to church. I never pursued this desire until my early twenties. By this stage, although I was successful on the outside, I was struggling on the inside. I felt like a "fish out of water" in life. I yearned to find where I belonged. There were also so many questions about life and death for which there seemed to be no clear answers. Death and not existing anymore terrified me. It seemed that the more I strove by my own effort in life, the more I fell apart within, although no one truly knew.

I thought that going to church would help me and I even underwent confirmation in the Wesleyan Methodist Church. But, as often as I went on Sunday, I still felt the same again by the time Monday rolled around. There was no reason for me to question the preaching and everyone was so nice, but the experience was always very empty. No one gave me any clear direction so I assumed that being a Christian simply meant choosing to believe in God and the Bible, and trying be a good person. Even then, I didn't know what "being a good person" really meant in God's eyes. Despite my attempts to believe in Him, I felt no closer to God, and although I desperately hoped He did exist, I could never be sure.

Then, a lady I worked with told me about someone she had met who had invited her to a church supper. She told me how impressed she was with the genuine joy and peace of the people there. These were two things I greatly desired in my own life so she offered me a business card she had been given by the host. To my surprise, when I spoke to him on the phone, he told me about real, personal, tangible miracles that had happened in his life and others' lives and that I could experience the same.

Although I was excited, I was also suspicious and afraid of getting caught up in a cult. But the desire to check it out never left me and finally, after three months, I attended a meeting. The moment I walked through the door I felt like I had come home. Everything preached from the Bible was very clear and made complete sense. The spiritual gifts were very powerful and I was moved to the point of tears by the end of the meeting.

The most exciting time came when the man that I had spoken to on the phone offered to show me a bunch of scriptures. It was such a relief to read for myself what God clearly expected from me and the abundance He offered in return. I was shown that even though I considered myself to be a Christian, technically God did not consider me to be one of His until I had been baptized by full immersion in water and anointed by Him with His Holy Spirit; that this was the purpose of Jesus' coming and subsequent death and resurrection i.e. by His sacrifice the way would be opened for all to come to God and be cleansed through the infilling of the Spirit. I read about the first outpouring of the Holy Spirit, on the Day of Pentecost, and how the disciples first spoke in tongues as the first manifesting sign, as others also experienced from that point forward.

Inspired by what I read, I asked how I could also receive the Holy Spirit anointing. I was invited to pray with the man and another lady and I accepted. I was nervous and on the outside things felt uncomfortable, but on the inside everything felt so right. So there, in a peaceful room with two strangers, I called out to God, "wherever He was", to fill me with His Spirit, "whatever that was". My whole world changed after a few minutes when I heard myself begin to pray in a brand new language. It wasn't "gibberish", but a pure, complex, beautiful language. At the same time I felt the "hole" in my heart close up. I felt complete. Instantly, somehow, I knew God intimately. I knew I belonged to Him. Suddenly I had an inner understanding of life and I was no longer afraid of death. I knew beyond doubt that I had been filled with God’s Holy Spirit and miraculously changed. I was baptized at the next meeting, in obedience to the scriptures.

I prayed in tongues all the way as I drove home that first day. For the next three days I pored over the New Testament, thirsty to know what treasures lay in the Bible. For the first time the scriptures were alive and seemed to be actively talking to me. The more I consistently read and prayed in tongues, the more I found myself changing in amazing ways. It seemed like God was cleaning me up. I no longer felt driven to "succeed" according to worldly definition. Instead, I felt fulfilled as I focused on pleasing God and on the simplistic joy of life as a woman (and later, wife and mother) in the Lord. I felt a constant hope, peace, inner joy and contentment.

The Lord very quickly blessed me with a Spirit-filled husband and we have a most wonderful marriage, the type I had only ever dreamed about. Whereas I used to be concerned about having children and how they would "turn out", the Lord has blessed me with confidence and wisdom as a mother and I delight in my relationship with our two boys. It was so exciting to see them each filled with the Holy Spirit at a young age. Since being filled with the Spirit, I have seen God’s miraculous provision and direction in my life and the answering of many specific prayers. The more I seek to apply God’s Word in each area of my life, the more I experience His blessings. It is so comforting to wake up every morning knowing I have a relationship with the real, living God. I thank Jesus Christ for this.

Ethan Sullivan